My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
it glows. i had to have it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Randomize
