Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
