Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
