Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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