we have pet lesbian snakes
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
