that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize