My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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