i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
