my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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