I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize