i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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