dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
