It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
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He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
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But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Couch. On fire.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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