umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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