And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize