apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
