I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
