People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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