What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize