Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize