i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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