There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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