You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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