He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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