I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
