It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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