i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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