I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize