That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
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