I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
