when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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