I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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