How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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