This girl is more easily done than said...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
