Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Screwed.edu
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
