i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
