i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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