By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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