i already hear my dad disowning me
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Alive.
So much puke
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
