tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
dude. I can hear the air.
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