i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
