youre lurking in front of me
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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