What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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