Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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