If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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