Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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