i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
