WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
