I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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