after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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