Pappa wants mamma naked
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
