i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
