They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Found your dick twin last night
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
