Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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