Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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