my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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