that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
