Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
