Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
