Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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